Pickup Lines
by tsusami
Summary: Naruto needs to practice his approach to the opposite sex.


This one goes out to Ednama, my NaruGaara muse~

-

**Pick-Up Lines**

"If I told you you have a nice body, would you hold it against me?" Naruto waggled his eyebrows. The kazekage's green eyes narrowed perceptibly before glancing back down at the document spread out on his desk. "Come on!" Naruto cried. "You have to admit, that one was pretty good." He pressed the book onto the desk, flipping through the pages of Jiraiya's latest big hit. Gaara pressed his brush to the white parchment, continuing his new proposal for education reform.

"Fine, fine, how about this one?" Naruto picked up the book, his eyes squinting at the text. "Do you wash your clothes with window cleaner because I can see myself in your pants." He held his arms up in a silent "tada," the book's pages flipping down from their hanging position in Naruto's outstretched hand. Gaara glanced down at his clothes and looked up, raising a brow at Naruto's smug expression.

"You can't see my pants. I'm wearing a robe."

"Ugh," Naruto growled, tossing the book onto his desk. "His genius is totally lost on you!"

"I consider that a compliment."

-

"Okay," Naruto said, walking in a circle. "Pretend you're Sakura-chan and I'm going to use a pickup line on you." He turned and paused, his blue eyes serious beneath the stern dip of his brow.

"From the book?" Gaara asked, trying to suppress the smile threatening to emerge.

"No no," Naruto shook his head, waving away his comment. "I'm well beyond that now. Child's play," he said, crossing his arms. "This is totally original. And I want you to react the way you think Sakura-chan would."

Gaara tilted his head, but said nothing. He wasn't sure he was all that well acquainted with the 5th hokage's apprentice, but he knew enough of her fiery temper around her exasperating teammate to feign proficiency. Gaara nodded and crossed his arms, waiting like one anticipating an attack.

Naruto smiled a foxy sort of grin Gaara recognized from the battle field. The Konohan slinked up to him close enough to invade what he considered his personal bubble. His face quickly turned, his eyes wide with panic and his hands reached for his neck. "Oh no, I'm choking! I need mouth to mouth, quick!" He sputtered and coughed with exaggerated drawls of breath. He clung to Gaara's vest puckering his lips in an obscene fashion. Gaara called upon his sand, forming a large hand that swept against Naruto's back and sent him skittering across the floor. Naruto sat up and gaped at him in shock. He rubbed his elbow and various other body parts, his choking no longer an issue.

"Hey! What was that for?"

Gaara collected the sand back into his gourd. "You preferred a fist to the gut?"

-

"Alright," Naruto said, fixing the high collar of his black shirt before turning his head in the mirror. "Tonight is going to be the night I finally succeed." He combed through his shaggy blond locks with his fingers, combing them a little to the side so they didn't fall directly into his blue eyes.

"Jiraiya came out with a pickup line sequel?" Gaara asked, comfortably perched on the bed.

"Ha-ha," Naruto deadpanned, turning to face him. Without his hitaite he looked oddly casual, oddly at ease and more put together when he wasn't wearing his baggy ninja ensemble. Gaara found himself almost admiring how handsome he looked. "I've been observing and receiving a few tips. I think Sakura-chan is going to melt tonight."

"Sounds messy," Gaara commented, sipping from his tea cup. Naruto chortled and took one last look in the mirror. When his hair was as tame as it was ever going to be, he moved over the bed, scooting next to Gaara.

"It's all in the timing," he said, scooting a little more. One more scoot and they would be bumping hips. Gaara took another sip and lifted his brow. Being well acquainted with Naruto's stratagems for the opposite sex, he had trouble placing confidence in the otherwise very capable shinobi.

He leaned over and Gaara was only too aware of Naruto's face hovering close to his. He took an audible whiff and hummed low in his throat. "Mm, smells good." Gaara glanced up and caught Naruto's glance at his tea cup. He lifted the steaming cup and held it up to him, faltering when he realized he wasn't sure how Naruto expected him to respond.

"It's lemon tea," he pointed out, certain Naruto was aware of this. Gaara had offered him a cup not ten minutes ago.

Naruto's blue eyes turned and a familiar cheeky smile slanted across his face. "The tea's not bad either."

Gaara turned away at this. He was aware of a rather unbecoming burning sensation rising to the surface of his cheeks and thoroughly unfamiliar with how to suppress it.

"That's creepy," he said, for lack of anything better to say.

-

Gaara leaned across the balcony, looking over the village of the hidden leaf. The night was quiet and he found himself almost wishing for it to be disrupted. But his one chance at distraction was most likely down in the city streets, or still at the social where he and his pink haired teammate seemed to be hitting it off more than usual.

Gaara smiled into his cup. It was almost a relief really, convinced he would no longer have to put up with the increasingly ridiculous play acting that preceded every one of Naruto's failed attempts to woo his resistant teammate.

He glanced up when he heard a knock at the door. "Enter," he said, certain his guard would allow no one he did not trust. Uzumaki slipped into the room, shutting the door behind him quietly. He smiled devilishly, his wild yellow hair still mussed like he had run his fingers through it hastily.

"What happened?" he asked, crossing the room and sliding the screen door open. "You left the party before I could show you my new moves." He leaned back against the balcony, elbows resting along the wooden beam. His black shirt pulled tight against his chest, showing off a bulk Gaara hadn't remembered being there before.

Gaara looked down into his cup. "I didn't know you enjoyed having an audience while you made a fool of yourself." He smiled to himself, pleased that his friend had come to check on him. Naruto lifted one hand, his finger pressed just under his chin. Gently he guided Gaara's head to face him.

"What can I say? I'm a fool for you." His lips quirked up in a lopsided grin, reaching the corners of his blue eyes.

Gaara huffed and turned away, a blush stealing across his cheeks. "Ha-ha," he imitated Naruto's earlier tone. "Is that what you'll try on her next?"

Naruto sidled closer, his fingers closing over Gaara's own on the steaming tea cup. "No. That's what she recommended I try on you."

Gaara jumped back, fingers nearly knocked the glass over. Naruto picked up the glass, hands steady as he moved the cup further away from them. He stalked forward slowly, eyes focused like a predator closing in on it's prey. Gaara tried to avoid his sight, looking around the small balcony and pausing when his back bumped against the wall.

_This_ was most definitely not what he had expected. Naruto's hand pressed against the wall next to his ear. Gaara wondered if Naruto had always been this tall or if he had simply failed to notice it before. He met the blue eyes briefly, willing himself to stop blushing like a school girl.

"Did it work, or should I keep trying?" Naruto's face was sincere, pained almost as Gaara opened his mouth soundlessly. Gaara turned his face, wondering how he hadn't noticed it before. The cheesy pickup lines, the frustration at his response, the play acting and the attempted kisses. Gaara could look no higher than the spot directly in front of him, at the smooth expanse of tan skin just above the hem of Naruto's black shirt. Gaara bit his lip, realizing he wasn't certain about what he wanted Naruto to do.

Naruto leaned in closer, one hand tilting up his chin. Blue eyes dipped to his mouth and Gaara's own eyes were attracted by the flick of movement- Uzumaki's tongue darting over his lips.

"So," he said, breath warm against his nose. Gaara's heart leaped as Naruto pressed closer, one hand slipping gently against his waist. "If I told you have a nice body, would you hold it against me?"

Gaara inhaled roughly. He took a deep breath in time with the half step that brought their bodies together. His fingers gripped the soft material of Naruto's shirt.

"If I kiss you, will you stop insulting me with cheap pickup lines?"

Naruto smiled, a quick flash of teeth. "Kiss me and find out," he said, tipping Gaara's chin up and pressing their lips together before the kazekage could respond.


End file.
